Tiếng Anh không khó!

How did your exams go?

Father: How did your exams go?

Son: I got nearly 100 in every subject

Father: What do you mean, nearly 100?

Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers!

I don't deserve it!

Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this exam.

Class: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you !

Science Final Exam

The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: 

"Give four advantages of breast milk." 

What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping forthe best:

1. No need to boil.

2. Cats can't steal it.

3. Available whenever necessary.

So far so good - maybe. 

But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled,then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen,and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:

4. Available in attractive containers.

The ghosts of the white house

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him Bush asks him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away

The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight...

The third night sleep still does not come for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist...

Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"

Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."

Toy

The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy. "Isn't it rather complicated for a small boy?" she asked the salesclerk. "It's designed to teach the child how to live in today's world, madam," the shop clerk replied. "Any way he tries to put it together is wrong."